Caffeine, Smoke, and Grease

A large part of my lift is listed herein. It had to be done.

Signs You Are A Denny's Rat

1. You come in at night and leave in the morning
2. You're here longer than the waitresses
3. They know what you will order beforehand.
4. You still complain about the discontinuance of items from X years ago
5. You plan on thanking the staff in your book's acknowledgements
6. You have written a book at Denny's
7. You complain about Denny's while being there
8. "The Big D"
9. You know the table numbering system and the server lingo (buff, spag)
10. You are there on Christmas/Eve, after a long holiday with family you look forward to it.
11. Your night is RUINED on kitchen cleaning nights
12. EnP is for pussies and you can explain why. in detail. and you have.
13. You write a list about being a Denny's Rat
14. Coffee + Water = The Regular Regular (it's not exactly a special now is it?)
15. You tip more than your check costs.
16. 2 ashtrays is not enough for 3 people.
17. The servers know not to bring a menu
18. If you didn't know already, you can tell a new server .by the fact they bring you a menu.
19. You can tell a new server by the fact they ask to seat you, and your smoking preference.
20. You met at least one Significant Other there.
21. This isn't the first list you've written at Denny's.
22. It isn't 20 questions, its 50.
23. The Band Game.
24. You refer to 6 years ago as 'the round booth years'.
25. Not only do you know the names of the people who've been banned, you were there when it happened.
26. Your waitress knew you were accepted to college before your mother.
27. Your waitress is the one informed your mother that you had been accepted to college later that day.
28. You've spent holidays at a server's house.
29. When travelling, you do an online search for the Dennys' in the area to which you are travelling.
30. When it rings, You answer the pay phone.
31. You prank call the pay phone and/or main number, while in the restaurant.
32. Servers stay after work to hang out with you.
33. "Denny's Seasoning" comes in Breakfast, Dinner, and Dessert flavors.
34. You're surprised when you get the daytime menu.
35. You have both day and night menus memorized.
36. Servers ask you to control other customers.
37. You get pissed at the Drunk Crowd.
38. You've done 'flavor shots'.
39. You've sent a round of 'flavor shots' to another table.
40. You tell your mom you are going to the bar, when actually you head to Denny's.
41. You've snuck out to go to Denny's.
42. You're late to work/missed class, because you spent the entire night at Denny's.
43. You and others have started bands with other Rats.
44. You've introduced yourself and other Rats to new servers as "a rat" or "one of us".
45. You've helped train the noobs.
46. You know what shit will fly with which servers and managers.
47. Creamer Wars.
48. Denny's has the best sunrises.
49. Daytime servers refer to you as the 'late night crowd'.
50. You've run a club from Denny's.
51. You remember All You Can Eat Chickn Strip Dinner Night (tuesdays!).
52. Quitting Smoking and Quitting Dennys at the same time is Impossible.
53. Smoking at Denny's is at a rate constant to regular-smoke-rateCUBED.
54. You've bought a pack of smokes before/during/after Denny's.
55. It is not uncommon to drink a pot and a half of coffee in one night- by yourself.
56. You know it is Xmas when the pictures on the wall are wrapped.
57. You know who the wrapped pictures are "to".
58. You ask servers why they are still working hours after their shift when you know what time they ought to have left.
59. You've stunned the entire smoking section in to silence. Multiple times.
60. Denny's = a convenient meeting place before ditching a car to go to another location. Also a good place to start directions. (Turn left at the Denny's).
61. You have a regular parking spot, and get confused while leaving when your car is not there.
62. You have at least one promotional pin/ribbon/sticker given to you by a server.
63. You wonder what goes on in Non.
64. You base your order on who is cooking at the time.
65. Wait time for seating means nothing, damnit. The idea of going somewhere else is appalling.
66. You go to a foreign city and instantly meet new friends at Denny's.
67. You don't recognize your server friends when they aren't in uniform.
68. You set limits for time spent at Denny's each night, and break them.
69. You know the schedule of the semi-regulars.
70. You teach the non-rat friends the system.
71. Who needs a library for studying?
72. Waiting for other Rats is the only time you spend reading the newspaper.
73. You feel threatened by non-regulars.
74. The Passion of the Ed.
75. You've read entire books at Denny'. Including On the Origin of Species, Pride and Prejudice, and The Bible.
76. You recognize the other regulars' automobiles.
77. You allot time before/after events to go to Denny's.
78. You have at least 1 item (ashtray, mug, teapot) from Denny's at your home.
79. Non-rat friends have joked about you having the logo tattoed on your person.
80. It's not funny, damnit, you've really considered it.
81. You have tried every combination of soda and flavor shot. (mint sprite = eew)
82. Seinfeld ain't got shit compared to our conversations.
83. You know the soundtrack.
84. You know when the first Denny's was opened.
85. More than one Denny's running joke will haunt you to the end of your days.
86. You know Denny's odder rules- ie, Magic:tG is not allowed because Corporate thinks it is a form of gambling.
87. You and your friends have attempted to eat an entire pie in one sitting.
88. You take your date to Denny's to see how they handle it.
89. You know it is Thanksgiving when the placemats begin to advertise Pecan and Pumpkin pie.
90. Meerkat/Door Syndome.
91. You can't think of anything else to put on this list, but you are certain more will come to you.